Tuesday, January 17, 2012

You don't get to be mom if you can't fix everything just right!

Like the rest of the posts on this blog, this one is being written out of pure frustration and again, as usual, it won't delve on that frustration for long as I have SO MANY things to write about.
In the past 30 days, I have witnessed a lot of things, seen many unknown sides of people, sat idly and thought for hours, and realised a thing or two. But, mostly, I've just lied down and stared.

Yeh blogpost sankshep mein

My guess is it happened on my way to Pune for a quiz (disaster, that I won't talk about) with Utsav. Excited like a bunch of school kids, we forgot to pack dinner and lunch for the 30 hour journey and we ended up buying chips, biscuits, cakes, coke, bhelpuri, some more biscuits and *drumroll* TRAIN FOOD. I think that got me the virus and 4 days later, I was in a hospital with a drip and completely drained of energy to even turn to another side and sleep. Days went by and my condition deteriorated to a point where I had no sleep, no food and a lot of headache. Hepatitis A is a cruel disease. It doesn't pain much in the dictionary sense of pain. Well, inexperienced nurses puncturing 5 of your veins to fix the VeinFlow contraption does pain. But what I really mean is it hurts a lot. To just lie there, staring at the ceiling while your head bobs and you wish you never had that plate of uncooked rice, is just stupid, mundane and very sad. I puked everything given to me, including meds and before I knew it, I was on "liquid diet" and I had to take in soups, Dal ka Paani and whatever my body didn't throw out. Along with all the nausea and exhausation, I had a series of other complications that scared the crap out of my mom. Sonography revealed a couple, blood revealed the rest.
15 days later with 2 sonographies, an endoscopy and 20 odd blood tests, I came back home with a severe headache. A week passed by before I could last a day without headaches and wanting an afternoon nap. That would be where I end the description of my disease. But at that as well as this moment, my sclera and my arms and legs are yellow.

As hurting and boring and annoying as the disease sounds, it is also quite expensive. The pills I am taking after 1 month of recovery, twice a day, are Rs. 30 each. I take four of those. And that brings me to my second topic...as a passerby in the gastrologist ward was heard yelling,

"Yeh hospital business bahut mehenga hai bhai."

And he's damn right. Hospitals are just overpriced hotels with a crowded and smelly reception, ugly concierge service that'll prick you at 4am and get away by saying, "Blood sugar is normal." Regular bedsheet and towel changes, dishtv, swanky bathrooms, sofas and a view of South Mumbai like no other - that's what I got for falling sick. And they charged me a lot too, for every tiny little thing. They made sure I paid like an investment banker who just made it big. And the worst part is, the costs dont stop once you're out of there. Here's what I learnt today. Mumbai's real estate prices drive everything. From apartments to hotels to even fruit vendors, everything depends on where you are in Mumbai. Consider this. From Goregaon in somewhat-north Mumbai to Marine Drive in South Mumbai, the initial consultation fees for a doctor more than doubles. My bad luck? My doctor is in Marine Drive. So, add a 30km ride back and forth and you're looking at a pretty cool figure. Now, I can say Ouch.

Two heads are better than one. What about four?

My parents are worried about me. And to get me to recover quicker, they're trying everything. At a point in time, I was taking allopathic, homeopathic and ayurvedic medication but somehow managed to avoid a necklace made of  small wooden blocks tied together with the holy red thread that we find on wrists. I really don't know what they call it. And since I got better, I don't know which one of those really worked. People keep saying, "Just take it, what's the harm?" And after a while, you get sick of keeping track of the 1-0-1s and the 1-0-0s. Something must help me out.

Magic Touch

The little kid really kept me going. Not only by his occasional smile, long stares, kicks and frantic hands searching for something to hold on to and put in his mouth but also by making me feel I am completely normal. Others look at your eyes and hands and keep reminding you how yellow you are. But he doesnt show any of those feelings. Well, he doesnt show a lot of feelings really. But the point is he made me realise that I will ALWAYS have something to come home to and someone to think about on a shopping spree! You know how when you're at home and every 30 minutes or so, you head off to the kitchen to open the fridge to find nothing and even though you know there is nothing, you still go and open it? He's just like that! Every 10 minutes, I get up, take a look, give him a kiss, ruffle his hair, hold him up, swing him around and then lay him on the bed.

Here he is:














His first chat was:

cxv sd   dddxdvxvccj7y

:D

When you think about something for too long, the thing changes.


Those long nights in the hospital when I used to twist and turn and stare at the clock listening to amplifying noise of the seconds hand, I used to think about people who came and went by in my life and those who stayed. What made them stay? What makes a person more special to us? Is it the moments we spend or the things we talk or the things we do? I won't bother to say "There is a special connection" coz that's just stupid. But there has to be something that makes us click. Hehe. No. Not what you're thinking. The answer didn't dawn upon me in one brightly moonlit night. Stuff like that doesn't happen. I'll be frank. At one point in time, I scrolled my entire contact list on my phone and didn't feel like calling up anyone I hadn't called recently. Have you ever done that? Its not a great feeling though. You'll want to pass it off as a phase and call yourself moody and get away with it. But the truth is you do feel alone in life sometimes. Alone in relative terms.

What would I do without you?

No matter what happens, you know you're never alone because you'll always have your mother by your side. If not for real then in your head. And I think without her, I wouldn't have been able to make it through so easily. There were times when I couldnt sleep till 4am and didnt have enough energy to get up and sit straight or even get off the bed or even call out. I used to make barely-audible mumbles that mom heard. Promptly getting up, she'd hold my hand, stroke it and run her fingers through my hair and say "It'll all be over very soon." And that helped me calm down. I couldnt breathe properly simply because I didn't have the energy to take in long gasps of air. She'd hear those short pants of mine, thirsty for air and some energy I used to look up to the ceiling while she just stood...mute. She couldn't do anything at that time but then that's what I wanted too. Not some pills or a drip, just the touch. Only the firm grip of my mother's hands would get me through so many countless nights.
I don't know what I'd have done without her.
----~----
A week ago, I started writing this blogpost and I thought there is SO MUCH to write about. I don't know what happened but I am gonna stop here for the time.
Later then.


Oh..wait!


Don't forget your C&H treat!



The Afternoon SOPA Opera


For those unaware, a heated debate is going on on two bills being passed in the Senate and the House of Reps, called the SOPA and PIPA. Catchy names sure, they are very similar to each other.
SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) and PIPA (Preventing Real Online Threats to Economic Creativity and Theft of Intellectual Property Act of 2011!!) are both aimed at curbing online piracy coming from websites inside and outside US jurisdiction. That includes The Pirate Bay with its servers in Stockholm (already raided) and its backup servers in Belgium and Russia.

Any law like this is bound to create a stir, but a few paragraphs in these laws are creating a furore in the internet community for nearly a month now. Support and opposition has poured in from all sides but it seems the bill isn't likely to pass. Take a small look at the list of opponents and you'll realize this is serious stuff:
Google, Facebook, AOL, Wikimedia, ANONYMOUS (I'll write more about this one coz its exciting!), Yahoo!, YouTube, Twitter, LinkedIn, eBay, Mozilla Corporation, Reddit, Microsoft, StackOverflow, Tumblr, Bloomberg, Zynga etc. Even Al Gore is against it.

In fact, read this! An open letter to the US Congress was signed by 83 Internet inventors and engineers critiquing the bills. Among the 83 were the inventors of ...hold your breath...TCP/IP, IPv6, ICMP, Email, HTTP, RFC, DNS, Arpanet, MIME, OSPF, OAuth, BGP, Multicast and I am not even finished!
So, clearly something is wrong here.

Lets get into the details a bit. Why should we oppose the bill?
SOPA and PIPA both enable the US Govt. to remove and block websites that carry copyright-infringing content and also block the DNS servers [This is what China, Syria and Iran does to block Internet]. But more than the laws, its the provisions that are creating problems. The bills give immunity to ISPs (those who provide internet to users like Airtel, MTNL, Hathway etc.) who block the websites "in good faith" that they "consider" to be rogue. This clearly gives them unprecedented power. Sure if the ISP plays fair and by the rules, nothing will happen. But, worst case scenario?

Another provision is to force search engines to not index websites that serve violating content. And also websites that elucidate how to view blocked content. Even if you posted it as your Status or as a Wall Photo, Facebook will remove the update or remove your account, or risk legal action. Which in turn means, Facebook now has the right to read through user generated content - a big turn off for Privacy Protestors.
Majority of the opposition to the bill comes when you consider the worst-case scenario to all the provisions. So if everything goes according to plan, all innocent websites should be unharmed. But, we hardly live in an ideal world.

After going through a lot of articles, I found this quote to perfectly summarise everything: “the equivalent of being angry and trying to take action against Ford just because a Mustang was used in a bank robbery.”
Perfect.

Should Indians worry about this? I guess so! On two grounds, one being the fact that a lot of high quality pirated content originates from the US itself. The introduction of these bills means you can say goodbye to XYZ S02E18. Another ground being that India is foreign soil to the US and this bill caters to us specifically. Sites like songs.pk that now hosts songs that are owned by American studios like Fox will be shut down.

But most importantly, it messes with our notion of internet, a completely free knowledge-sharing world where everything is available but only hinges on choice. Choice is overrated now, don't you think?


Don't think everyone is opposing the bill. Again...hold your breath...MPAA, Disney, Ford, NBC, Comcast, Pfizer, Merck, Walmart, Dow, Adidas, Bose, 3M, Visa, Capitol Records, McGraw Hill, L'Oreal, Pearson, Penguin etc. Sony also did. Well, Sony's was a sad story really.
Sony came out in support of the Bill and then faced the wrath of Anonymous (How can we forget them?). Haha. Sony Pictures was hacked by Anonymous and they uploaded a threat on YouTube. This is classic Anonymous style. Flashy and stylish. Worded like an action movie on a comic book hero. Swift. Love it!



Tomorrow, 18th January 8AM to 8PM, Wikipedia is shutting down in protest. It sure raises questions on Wikipedia's famed neutrality stance though. So is Reddit and Wordpress (powers 15% of the web!). We're seeing the first large scale protest in 2012, carrying forward a glorious tradition set in 2011. How long will this one last? We'll wait and see.